Encouragement For Those Not Homeschooling

As a homeschool mom of 15 years, having graduated one student and another this year, with two to follow-I can tell you that I have a lot of sympathy and compassion for my friends who are suddenly thrust into this world. While I do not consider what we as a community are currently doing to be authentic homeschooling--nonetheless I recognize that this is a trial-by-fire for many of you. When all of this looked like it would be a reality--the schools closing--I started out with sharing the funny homeschool memes and jokingly welcoming you to the family with the Marlon Brando photo. Unfortunately, this is very serious and sobering. You aren't homeschooling. Please don't be insulted because you're still invited in to the family. Let me explain.

You aren't able to take your children to library visits, sports classes, music lessons, art classes, museum visits, field trips, workshops, demonstrations and co-ops--these are all the things my family enjoys monthly, if not weekly. We actually do not spend the majority of our time doing book work and actual classroom time. My children learn mostly by experience and doing and aside from abundantly reading, the actual classroom stuff is really last on our list. While this is important and our Language Arts, Foreign Language, Math, History, Science etc takes place, it is conveniently added in, around our life experience. Unfortunately, like you, we are secluded and left without the normal way of schooling. For example this week alone, my kids are missing out on parkour, piano and violin lessons, a small gathering where they would be dissecting a squid and our weekly homeschool group which is always something engaging. We are also missing out on our regular time with friends whether it's casual or scheduled extracurricular.

However, I do realize that we have an advantage because we've been living this different way of life for a while. We probably have a better way of sitting our kids down and getting them to complete work. We have compiled resources that you don't have and a portion of that is emotional due to experience. We have the mental capacity because we've labored through months of getting to know our kids--to learn ourselves how they learn and how we learn and therefore, teach. So, that is where my compassion and empathy come in. I get how difficult this is. I mean, I really get it. I hear you, I empathize, I deep within my soul understand the angst, the frustration, the humble feeling of inability. I remember when one of my sons was in first grade and I would cry to my husband almost daily and tell him I was absolutely wrong and there was no way I could homeschool him. I "knew" I had made the biggest mistake of my life. My husband supported me emotionally and encouraged me that we could and should make this work. And, so, instead of escaping in my normal flight over fight mode, I persevered and found some resources that allowed me to meet my son's need for better organization and annoying fastidious scheduling. I had researched about a particular way of presenting materials and with a few simple adjustments, I was able to facilitate a better system for him. The next year, it was so mind blowing how he functioned like a different child. In fact, he was thriving and I was humbled and convinced every day, that we had made the right decision and I was so relieved that I hadn't given up. And, now as he approaches his own graduation--I find him to be a successful college student participating in dual enrollment--earning college credit and high school credits at the same time. Not only does he enjoy these classes, he earns excellent grades. For all the reasons that I felt like transferring him out of my homeschool as a first grader, he thrives as a high school senior/college freshman.

What does this have to do with having compassion for friends who are suddenly secluded at home and tasked with facilitating their child's education? Well, I want to encourage you to take the task before you as an opportunity. Don't be discouraged because you feel inadequate. Don't dismiss this life called homeschooling because it's been forced upon you and you are without proper resources. This is your child and I believe there is no one better to care and navigate him or her through this frightening and uncharted territory, than you. While you think you haven't been tasked with teaching them before, you're more than capable. But, you cannot expect it to come quickly. Just like the newness of first-time-parenting took you by storm in the first few days after their birth, so will this. Remember that feeling of that little stranger screaming and you didn't necessarily know how to soothe or protect them? It took time to get to know your child. But you did it--they ate, they slept, they got clean diapers--you did it! Just like potty training took some time and effort, so will this. Unless you're telling me your twelve year old isn't potty trained--you did it! Give yourself a break! Give yourself some grace and for goodness sake, do not expect to be excellent at what you are doing the first week you've ever had to do it. This has never happened to us before. So, slow your roll, lower and I mean just as you want that bowling ball to glide from your fingertips to the alley lane, lower your expectations. You will get through this. And, you just might enjoy it. You may learn a lot yourselves and in the midst of it, I promise you that you will get to know your child, you will learn more about them, you will bond in a way you never realized could happen. Additionally, you will forever treasure the trained and gifted public and private school teachers who have done this over the years. You may even possibly have new-gained respect for moms like me who have been authentically homeschooling their children. But, it isn't comparable. You're not public schooling and you're not homeschooling. You're raising your child. You can do it!